My Quarter Life Crisis

I have been in education for the best part of my twenty-four years of life in one way or another, a long winding path that has certainly been rocky in areas and finally I am in my last stretch, the last twelve weeks of my educational journey before I step into the world awaiting me. I am eager, yes, extremely so but at the same time, I can’t stop myself from being overwhelmingly terrified. The world of persistent learning has been a safe, albeit frustrating cocoon of safety (screaming into my pillow is extremely therapeutic for this by the way). It has been structured, routine, and has been the primary focus of my life so what do I do now that it’s coming to an end? My life is at a turning point, one I am really glad to be at considering how much I’ve fought for it. I am in love, I am writing, I have a wild little pug who makes me smile daily so it feels ridiculous to be so anxious and scared for a future which by the looks of things will be bright. I have come to the conclusion that I must be at my quarter life crisis.

Ready to blow or cool as a cucumber?

Now I’m not going to go and do anything ridiculous like buy an expensive car or subscribe to a gym membership that I’ll never use. My crisis is around this precipice of adulthood I am balancing on and the only thing to do is jump! So that’s what I’m doing, no matter how frightening and nerve-wracking it is, I am throwing myself into my future and I just hope whatever is waiting at the bottom is waiting to catch me. It’ll be a soft landing; I’m sure and whatever snags I hit along the way will only break my fall. Sure, the adrenaline fuelled fear for my days to come has brought me to tears on a few occasions, sending me into anxiety that makes it hard to breath or even think straight and I honestly have no idea what I’m doing but will find my way and just being at the point to have a quarterlife crisis is a blessing. For the next twelve weeks I have my bachelors to complete but next I know my path will fork in two ways which may convene again at some point. Above me is the guiding star of authorship and as long as I reach that one day, I will be perfectly fine.

Afternote:

I’ve wanted to write this for a while purely just to get it all off my chest and perhaps give someone else out there the reassurance that they’re not the only one going through this. That, or I’m hoping that for myself – please don’t let me be the only one! Therefore, I finally sat myself down and instead of procrastinating and stewing in these thoughts, I managed to get all of this out onto paper over the course of two days. The first day was spent in a wormhole of fear, anxiety and depression, along with a healthy dose of tears (thank you to both my best friend and my boyfriend for talking sense into me) but the second day I finished this I had a much clearer head.